I have a task list for keeping up with friends. Yes, literally, on my task manager.

Because I don’t want to forget. Because I want to keep up with them on a regular cadence. Because we need to go beyond the “I saw your post on Insta!” Because human beings connect their hearts through in-person presence. Because these algos are sucking my soul and though I have to play to win, at least I can save my soul in other ways. Because communities are born through relationships.

Tips on how you can make your friend task list:

• Make it simple: Call Omar once a month. Make it twenty minutes. Make the commitment simple. Don’t worry about having the best call or the best convo. It’s better to touch base then to have forgotten them.
• Know the best way to check-in: Some of my friends only do well with texting, so I text once every two weeks. Some want me to set up a meeting once every two months. Figure it out.
• Be adaptable: If the person didn’t respond, just nudge with a text. Remind them that you are checking in, you care, make it real.
• Pray for them: I make du’a for my friends by name so I can remember them.
• Use memories to remind friends of the good times: Google Photos or iCloud will often remind me of old memories. When they come up, I immediately share them with a brief reflection. It triggers a good thought.
• Show up: if you know your friend has an exam coming up, put it in your calendar. Let them know they got it. Pray for them. Care for them.

It sounds simple. Some people consider it silly. Some even say its fake. I don’t care, this works because I mean it. I love my friends and family. If we can put tasks down for our clients and jobs and all the other stuff in this world, we can take a second and make our friends a real, honest, simple priority.

I hope you reach out to someone today (and hope they reach back out to you :), inshaAllah